Loving The Bad, Hating the Good

Today I worked another eight hour shift. Tomorrow I am off, so that's always a good thing.

Once you've succeeded in making your first sales of luggage, you'd feel like you can do anything. I've felt it again this morning... well, afternoon really. I'm not very much of the salesperson to do luggage. I'm always at shoes, so I get butterflies every time someone asks for help in the luggage. Today, I helped a man who was a bit confusing, but he thanked me very much for my help, and I felt so relieved and grateful. I love it when people thank me. It's such a simple phrase, but it really makes my day as a salesperson. It just makes me feel as if I did a job well done and that I'm being thanked for all the efforts put in.

My glasses broke about an hour into my shift. I removed them to fix my hair. I was about to put them back when the handle on the left side just broke off. It was so difficult to put it back on. Actually, I couldn't at all. I had to go without my glasses for about fifteen minutes. Then I wondered if I could tuck them in to my hairband, but they kept popping out of the slot. My co-worker helped me tape them up so that they wouldn't budge. And then... that's pretty much how I got on for the rest of the day.

My father is taking my sister and I tomorrow in the movies. I'm so excited! My Dad doesn't usually take us out on casual outings. If he wants to go out, he'd find a beach, a mountain, or a lake or go into another province and stay there for four days in a hotel. Doing a little thing with him tomorrow is just as nice. But I'm wondering how my glasses would hold up. I hope I can still use them for that long.

Anyway, the main point of this post is to actually pour out something that I've been feeling lately. So... you know how I'm a writer in fanfiction.net? Well, the forums that I've been going to recently have... brought me mixed feelings. The people are nice and funny, but it's like being thrown back into elementary for me. And I'm not talking about the childishness. I'm talking about how I felt back when I was in elementary. Back then, I never really fit in. I was the odd one out all the time, and regardless whether people were good or friendly, there's something that would make me feel uncomfortable around them. And this is exactly what's been happening. I've been having so much fun in that forum, but after getting to know everybody a bit more beyond their writing and their pen names, it's like I'm just in a different league. It's like I'm different. Of course, how would I really know when I've never met them before, right? But... I can just tell. Maybe getting to know them better would only confirm my assumption that I'm much too different from them, or it may be the opposite. I don't know. But since I loved going to the forums, I just... I don't want to feel left out. And nobody's making me feel left out. *I'm* making myself feel left out and I don't know why. It's nobody's fault. It's my fault, but I don't know how to fix it.

I'm in a depressed state. I hate it when something so good for me ends. I don't know what to do. I think a break from the forums would be good. I think a break from fanfiction.net would also be good.